12 Things You Can Do To Get Happy In The Next 30 Minutes


by Annie Schildhorn

Remember when the internet declared 2016 the year of the dumpster fire? LOLz. 2017 is the year of actual fires: wildfires and hurricanes have decimated entire communities, tiki torch-wielding white supremacists were called "fine people" by our nefarious dotard, and a "fire and fury" threat triggered Kim Jung Un to re-up his nukes. (Excuse me while I pop a Xanax.)

As I sit here mulling on how many months are left until the world ends, I realize that it's time to get happy. Here are 12 steps you can take to feel better within the next half hour:

1. Eat A Vegetable

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OK, so you're probably rolling your eyes already, but treating your body right starts with what you put in it. If you're down in the doldrums, the most immediate thing you can do is put some healthy ass food in your body. Yum.

2. Read Something

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It sounds simple, and it is! Reading for 20 minutes a day is almost as good as meditation. Pick a fun book, or just open up your browser. You go, girl.

3. Practice Smiling

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Fake it ‘til you make it. Seriously. It’s scientifically proven that if you simply put a smile on your face, you will start to feel better. Give it a try, and @ me if it doesn’t work.

4. Let Go Of Resentment

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Rather than harp on your ex’s mistreatment of you, or your boss’s weird email, try to let it go and do you. Resentment isn’t a good look.

5. Clean Something

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I KNOW. This sucks, but it is honestly the antidote to depression. That drawer you meant to organize? Do it! Or go full KonMari. You do you.

6. Be Mindful

It’s harder than it sounds, but taking even ten minutes to check out a meditation app can change your day around. DO IT, BOO.

7. Rid Yourself Of A Nagging Task

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Pick a tiny task from your to do list and then just do it. It feels damn good.

8. Sit On A Park Bench

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The environment was here before you were, so get outside. The Vitamin D from the sun is proven to make you happier. Go forth!

9. Connect With A Stranger

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Feeling lonely? Get your bum outside, yes, but then make some contact with a stranger. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, or smile at your neighbor and say "hi."

10. Say “I Love You”

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To anyone! It doesn't mean to be romantic. Send an "I love you" text to your mom. Anything goes.

11. Put On Some Makeup, Kween

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Taking care of yourself, makeup included, is bound to make you feel better. And hotter. Prepare to get cat called!

12. Right A Past Wrong

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You know it's tough, but it will make you feel better. If something is nagging you, fix it. Send a nice note to that friend you forgot to reply to. Or make up for that jerky email you sent. You've got this.